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inkshamanSo tonight (this morning) i put the sign on the door to the Quiet Room. And chuckling after my own joke at the bottom of it-- the sign reads
CONSTRUCT RUNNING BE ADVISED Beaureau of Household Magic
and it struck me, again, how good it feels to be in a place and with people where i can, in the modern parlance, let my freak flag fly (and not that there's anything wrong with that, he says in his best Seinfeld voice).
Here at the home hearthplace, i am more completely in tune with and capable of and comfortable with being myself than i have been in a long, long time, so long that it hurts to remember sometimes, and it's... refreshing. All of the spirituality i've been practicing-- from going or not going to temple to setting up constructs and sendings in the Quiet Room to advising people to arguing about magical contagion theory to... well, you get the idea.
Here, i am surrounded by people who love and accept me and encourage me to be who and what i am, and it is a gift beyond generous; i know they'll say it's decency or respect or whatever-- and it is all of those things, and more-- but i translate it into and think of it as love.
And it warms me more than anything. And just when i think my heart is about to burst from it, i get even more of it from the friends and intimates i hold in trust, people i correspond with and see but rarely and, in three cases, whom i've never met in real life. And it does my heart good.
i have an understudy who's interested in herbalism and has a mind that soaks up everything in ways that would make sponges envious, who is also a friend i can sit around and discuss comics and play video games with; i have my best friend, who listens to all of my ideas-- good, bad, stupid, and yes-- and tells me when i'm full of shit, who laughs with me, who's music-- when he picks up one of his instruments-- is always exactly what i need. i have his wife, my friend and charin, who's also embarked on a Path and is a powerful and strong woman in her own right, who asks questions that just don't stop making me think; she challenges me in a number of ways that always bear fruit for both of us, and sometimes, for everyone in the house. i have recently acquired a new friend who's mental flexibility and exnpanding ways of thought leave me wowed in a number of ways, a generous spirit who has gotten me thinking in ways no one else has in years; i have a woman i know who continues to constantly be a blessing in my life, who's curiousity and support have moved me beyond words on at least one ocassion.
My cats, my books, my Tools, my foibles and missteps, my quirks and conundrums and everything else in there, my heart and soul have a home here, and that this is my place, my hearth, my sanctuary, my Home, and that these are the people who are in my life, continues to constantly remind me, too, that prayers get answered in ways that make the heart and soul jump through any number of hoops and that you least expected... but they get answered.
i...
everything that is important to me is respected and applauded and expanded and stretched and handled with care when it needs to be; everyone i am is loved.
and i am extremely and eternally grateful for and because of it.
CONSTRUCT RUNNING BE ADVISED Beaureau of Household Magic
and it struck me, again, how good it feels to be in a place and with people where i can, in the modern parlance, let my freak flag fly (and not that there's anything wrong with that, he says in his best Seinfeld voice).
Here at the home hearthplace, i am more completely in tune with and capable of and comfortable with being myself than i have been in a long, long time, so long that it hurts to remember sometimes, and it's... refreshing. All of the spirituality i've been practicing-- from going or not going to temple to setting up constructs and sendings in the Quiet Room to advising people to arguing about magical contagion theory to... well, you get the idea.
Here, i am surrounded by people who love and accept me and encourage me to be who and what i am, and it is a gift beyond generous; i know they'll say it's decency or respect or whatever-- and it is all of those things, and more-- but i translate it into and think of it as love.
And it warms me more than anything. And just when i think my heart is about to burst from it, i get even more of it from the friends and intimates i hold in trust, people i correspond with and see but rarely and, in three cases, whom i've never met in real life. And it does my heart good.
i have an understudy who's interested in herbalism and has a mind that soaks up everything in ways that would make sponges envious, who is also a friend i can sit around and discuss comics and play video games with; i have my best friend, who listens to all of my ideas-- good, bad, stupid, and yes-- and tells me when i'm full of shit, who laughs with me, who's music-- when he picks up one of his instruments-- is always exactly what i need. i have his wife, my friend and charin, who's also embarked on a Path and is a powerful and strong woman in her own right, who asks questions that just don't stop making me think; she challenges me in a number of ways that always bear fruit for both of us, and sometimes, for everyone in the house. i have recently acquired a new friend who's mental flexibility and exnpanding ways of thought leave me wowed in a number of ways, a generous spirit who has gotten me thinking in ways no one else has in years; i have a woman i know who continues to constantly be a blessing in my life, who's curiousity and support have moved me beyond words on at least one ocassion.
My cats, my books, my Tools, my foibles and missteps, my quirks and conundrums and everything else in there, my heart and soul have a home here, and that this is my place, my hearth, my sanctuary, my Home, and that these are the people who are in my life, continues to constantly remind me, too, that prayers get answered in ways that make the heart and soul jump through any number of hoops and that you least expected... but they get answered.
i...
everything that is important to me is respected and applauded and expanded and stretched and handled with care when it needs to be; everyone i am is loved.
and i am extremely and eternally grateful for and because of it.